Marred by Death

Marred by Death

After a tiring day of submissions and tests at college, I reached home late in the evening. Just then my phone screamed to life resounding the doleful number- “I still”. On line was a friend who trembled as he informed me of the death of a common friend. I felt my reflexes go weak. “Are you sure you know what you are saying?” I feebly repeated. By the end of a minute or two I was convinced that she was really gone…….. gone forever…….never to return……..in the laps of eternal sleep……never to wake up again……

Why, when, how…….I never asked anything, just pondered over the fact that something so dire can also await a twenty year old. The tender age when your eyes look starry when you think of that special someone, they swell with ambition when you dream to reach the stars and are jubilant every time they see the dear ones who can identify the dreams captured in them. How can those eyes be shut so abruptly? How can those dreams be marred by something as brutal as death?

It was just a year or two ago when I had last seen her. She was so full of life! We were standing in the same queue to collect our forms to complete an admission process. She looked pretty, any stranger would turn back to notice her. We shared the same bench in school, played scrabble in the vacations. She had lots of toys, dolls and a two-storeyed bed. Her brown eyes had shone with delight when she got selected to be a part of the dancing troupe in a bollywood film. She was a graceful dancer. She was a pampered child but not really spoilt for choices….and today she was gone.

This brought me closer in understanding the finality of death. Death comes as one fatal blow; it never gives you another chance. How can you console her parents? They have not lost their daughter; but lost all their aspirations and dreams associated with her. What words of condolence would you offer her mother who would have harboured images of her daughter looking her best as a bride, ever since she turned twenty? Can one imagine the grief of a father who is always biased towards his daughters? How can it really happen that a person who brought cherished memories to them for twenty innocent years just walk out of their lives? Why was she blessed with just twenty years of life? Did god decide to not show her the darker side of a mature life? Was “He” really justified in taking this decision?

My grief had turned into fear. What if life just runs out of my soul? There are so many impending decisions to be taken, so many expectations to be met. A few more moments would not serve my purpose. I need many more years to face the challenges that “life” will offer me. I am really afraid of death. I would hate to call myself unfortunate if things don’t really work out the way I wanted, because somewhere I know I am luckier than ‘her’, because I can still breathe, still dream and still live! I cried incessantly. I was not left with much to do. I prayed to god so that her soul rested in peace, begged Him to give her parents and kin enough strength to face it all and thanked him earnestly for giving me a brand new life, every single day!