Scene: Popeye’s house.
Doorbell rings. Popeye opens the door (Slightly annoyed because of an early morning visitor on his day off the shores)
Me: Good morning sir! I am…
Popeye: No, thank you. I don’t want insurance. You see, I eat spinach every single day. Coupled with this I say ‘I love you’ to Olive 5 times a day, it makes me younger each day! You bet, even the alien aging machine will not be able to guess my age on this date. Why the hell will I need insurance?!…and for your kind information I have left 6 botanical gardens which grow spinach, in the name of Olive, Swee’Pea, Peepeye, Poopeye, Pipeye, Pupeye. They will live happily and healthily ever after.
Me: May I say something? I am sure you will not regret at the end of the conversation.
Popeye: Ahh! You typical salesguy! I know you know how to walk the talk! Anyway, chip in. You better be quick, I need to have my serving of spinach soon…and I love it only in the company of my lovely Olive.
Me: Sir, I present to you Bournvita, the drink which comes from the house of Cadbury. This malted drink has been endorsed by the Indian super hero Krish. It is responsible for endowing health and intelligence amongst young adults like YOU!
Popeye: Don’t give me this! I mean, I am Swee’Pea’s father!
Me: This has been working wonders since 1948. It was conceived 19years after your thimble appearances first made way. Probably, your energy was the reason Cadbury thought of coming up with a product like this!
Popeye: So, you are trying to sell me something that I have inspired! Fella, you need to work on your selling skills!
Me: I am trying to make a point sir. The only reason that I have dared to come to you with my drink is because I believe it has something to offer that you currently don’t have. 19years of research sir! I am sure, it gives you a lot more than a basic dose of vitamin A through K, calcium, protein, dietary fibre and niacin acids.
Popeye: You are missing out on the magnesium, zinc and phosphorous!
Me: I realize that sir. But I bring you something more than and besides all of these.
Popeye: …and that would be??
Me: An irresistible taste of chocolate, a variety of flavors to choose from, tested results of better growth and holistic development and the RDA
Popeye: RDA??
Me: It’s the Recommended Dietary Allowance. Medical research has proven that 2 cups of Bournvita adequately cater to your daily energy needs. It’s a unique assurance that comes from the makers, Cadbury.
Popeye: I am no regular guy! I need super-human energy …do you understand that I am a hero for the million kids the world over?!
Me: Yes, Sir. I do realize that. Hence I would recommend 3 glasses of the drink, every single day. The third one you can have it with your dear lady-Olive. I am sure she will join you too.
(Silence…after 8seconds)
I must say, this will strengthen your bond…physically, emotionally and literally too…and in a very tasty and a routine manner.
Popeye (contemplating): Hmmmm…(Olive, my love…)
Me: And a fourth glass with SweePea can be the best you can ask for! It will give you all the iron in the world and knocking off the likes of Brutus will be cakewalk for you!
Popeye (getting a little emotional): This Brutus, I tell you! Every time he tries to take Olive away I feel like I've had all I can stand, I can't stands no more!
Me: Bournvita will certainly help you deal with Brutus. I also think it’s time you adapt a new source of energy. You have been carrying the Fleisher’s sword all through the Segar’s comic strip. Just a humble suggestion though, I hope you dint mind.
Popeye: Ahh…I…
Me: Why don’t you try the drink? I will just make one for you.
Popeye drinks. He feels revitalized instantly and loves the taste.
Popeye: It’s taski !!(tasty)
Me: and in case you just fail to stock milk, 2 teaspoons full will work the same magic.
Can I ask you a question?
Popeye: By all means!
Me: What is the capital of Ghana?
Popeye (instantly): Accra!!
(How did I get to that answer in a split second? It was never even my home-town!)
Honestly friend, I thought I didn’t know the answer
Me: You see sir; it’s the power of intellect that gets typically casted on you when you have a glass full of the drink. Let me tell you a little secret. These magical effects aren’t transferrable. They are unique to your Bournvita and you. They will only pass to any one of your nephews or SweePea as per your choice. You now have something unique to leave in your legacy I believe!
The door bell rings. Brutus is waiting at the door.
Me (from behind): Sir, I request you to not have a firm handshake
Popeye (holding his hand out): Come on in Brutus!
Brutus quivers in pain because of Popeye’s strong grip.
Popeye feels the peculiar music ring in the backdrop. Additionally he sees the image of himself having a good time with Olive and a bruised Brutus fallen behind.
Brutus leaves without saying a word. He is in great pain.
Popeye (delighted, holding out his glass): One more friend!
Me: May I place the pack of your new Bournvita on the shelf?
I believe the spinach boxes may need replacement; you won’t need your spinach serving that’s been pending for a while now!
Popeye (relishing Bournvita): Aye!
Me: I hope you have no regrets at the end of this conversation!
Popeye (hugs): No, no! Thanks a lot friend! You have given me a treasure!
(Wonders how I was not hurt despite the hug)
Hey! How come you are not hurt? Was my brace that weak??
Me: It’s the intellect sir! Even in your most energetic moments, you clearly understand whom to hurt and who not to! Enjoy your Bournvita! (smiles and leaves)
Popeye (sips the Bournvita and gazes in the mirror): “I yam what I yam!”
