Analog moments in a Digital Year

 

From dotcom to AI, we are the generation which has wrapped its head around weird internet led bubbles. We seem to have seen it all, from the Sony Walkman to the apple iPod to the Bluetooth air pods. We have recently seen in equal proportions, connecting wires and the need to apply intelligence; disappear swiftly. AI for productivity versus AI for survival are the two beams we seem to be currently treading precariously

Amid this universal chaos, my toddler started Montessori school and I navigated a new function at work. The beauty of Montessori is that they never let go off the basics; consistently ensuring they shape the right behaviours and inculcate a joy of learning. The biggest learning I had from his school is that the most complex successes are often built upon the simplest, most consistent rituals.

That brings me to a bragging point about cultivating habits – I read 10 new books this year. A teeny number compared to 52 that some may have done but a huge number from zero that I did 2 years ago. I had a lot of mothers tell me that their kids don’t like to read. Why will they? If they never see their parents read. This year was a conscious shift from kindle to physical books as we got them aplenty for our 4-year-old. The old ways of highlighting and underlying texts are nostalgic in their own ways.

I have been a much better leader this year at work – all thanks to the opportunity of parenting Aryan. As a mother, I was always drawn to keeping the basics in place - a tenet almost evasive in the corporate world. Hysterically caring about the narrative, ticking boxes without really moving the needle has started affecting my sense of purpose at work a lot more than it used to. I now consciously invest 80% of my time in high impact work and maybe 20% to cater to egos as I also need to keep my job!

Last year the things were not completely rosy; but I discovered a superpower when I started replacing my fears with gratitude. 2 years ago – it was, why should dad have to undergo dialysis. Today – it is, he has seen his grandson grow and participate in his son’s wedding; all thanks to this life saving treatment. When you have your loved ones with their days numbered, the attitude towards life changes significantly. We all live on borrowed time; a medical diagnosis just brings that reality into sharp focus. Hence, instead of taking festive weekends to fly to a different city, we chose to spend them with the grandparents whose days significantly lengthened with a playful grandson around.

As I prepared to uncover the 2026 diary, I browsed past an interesting addition I made to my diary last year. I wrote one event that made me feel thankful. The range was massive; it included finalizing a nanny after 6 failed ones in 6 weeks to safe hospital discharges of my father to Aryan missing going to school in vacations to my employer selecting me for a completely new role and my little brother getting married! I was fortunate to spend more quality time with my child due to hybrid working model and extremely indebted for being able to cultivate long term hobbies, a distant dream for most working mothers.

As I close this year's chapter, I’m not looking for reckless growth and fancies; I’m just looking for more moments to pause, rewind and be thankful for. The rest is just noise

Tick tock

The clock strikes, and strikes again,
Endless to-dos unlikely to end,
Amid the day that’d been so serious,
An innocent email made me curious.

I clicked on the link despite the amber alert,
A ticker with a time bomb, all set to hurt!
Bewildered, I wondered what can it be?
A clear message that wasn’t a plea.

You’ve got four minutes to save your world,
Dubious at first, I thought until it unfurled!
It offered help too! With an AI assistant,
To grab my attention, it was consistent.

“Follow your heart, this one while,
Your systems need some new files,
Do as I say, to save this day,
Try to keep your worries at bay”

Paint the town with a stroke of a brush,
Write a letter to your office crush,
Tap your feet and dance a happy step,
Pause your mind and let it reset.

Go out to hug that forgotten friend,
Bring out the drums and let music blend,
Your four minutes will compound fast,
Your world indeed will not be lost!

The time bomb only ages your mind,
Clear the clutter and to it, be kind.
Ending your world can’t be so easy,
So, killing it each day is just too crazy!

As the new year taps on your door,
Let a better version of you, unfold. 
Fill it with love and more gratitude, 
Life is but, a sum of your attitude.

Be thankful for every morning you rise,
Love loads, work hard, and exercise,
Live each day as it were your last,
Time is the essence; you know it’s slipping fast!

My tryst with history

 

With my renewed interest in understanding the story of evolution, cultural and social amalgamation, geo-politics and world events of the past and recent times; I chose to formally learn ‘History’. Here are my musings after completing one year of course -work

A typical day would run by the clock,
To break the monotony is what I thought
Fantastical, factual and full of mystery,
I chose to delve into the realms of history
 
The story of humankind spans over 6mn years,
It is filled with valour, accomplishment, strife and fears
Historians have unravelled the why and how,
Paving way to discover the here and now!
 
To open the doors of the future,
Will you exhume the ghosts of the past?
For they say that history repeats itself, and
It is only the legacy that lasts…
 
The legacy of the past and the one that we leave,
Will comprise the perspectives from the thoughts we weave
As the human tree grows branching into the sky,
The roots seem to weaken and heave a sigh…
 
What is taught in school, is it for real;
For it meant I expected the state to be ideal
In a world which changes in months and days,
How will the relevance of history stay?
 
Explore the culture, the heritage and religion,
For every crusade has a purpose and ambition
The avenues to learn history are many,
I hope to inspire you to get on, any!
 

 

Welcome, little roommate!

 

A busy year with smiles and fears,

Anxious moments and joyful tears,

What has changed, I am sure you can guess

Our little bundle of joy, I must confess!

 

Our world has changed and will never be the same

Nappy rash, spit ups, coos and cuddles are to blame!

Milestones and vaccinations are many to track

At times we barely get time to snack!

 

Toothless smiles are the best in town

Teething pain is the biggest reason to frown

Music library has forever changed

Chandoba, naani ki morni and cocomelon are all in range :)

 

They say a child is a father of a man,

Who ensures things will not always go as per plan

At times I am overwhelmed, at times I could cry

Patience and resilience, all worth a try...

 

Never knew I could love so much,

Never knew I could care such a lot,

Newer meanings to life I discover,

Each day as I come along! 

Happy Place

 Life is full of ups and downs; the downs far more felt than the ups... While braving these downs at times you want to hide, you want to run or you just want to feel good about yourself. That's when you go to your secret hideout, your happy place!

When your heart is beating fast, 
In your head spin thoughts so vast, 
When you constantly seek solace,
As you know your mind is going to ache

Trouble at work or folks driving you beserk,

Really hard day keeping your peace at bay,

Piled up emotions that well you up, 

You feel that you've just ran out of luck

You want to let go, or scream or cry, 

Routines and notions you want to defy,

That's when you need a place to hide,

In it your heart will calmly reside 

Snuggle upto your mom, your spouse or your child, 

Or a friend who will unfold the thoughts that 've been piled,

Someone who will put back the smile on your face,

Bring back with love your forgotten grace...

Give you all the strength you need to ace, 

This O' dear! is your happy place :)

Of resolutions and commitments

 

End of 2016, when my attempts to find a match via various matrimony.coms weren’t bearing significant fruits, I decided to invest in myself; in more than one way

Start of 2017, I started using Healthifyme and Duolingo, as part of new year resolution. It is now end of 2020, and I still use both the apps with great discipline. While I might have given too much personal longitudinal behavioural data to Healthifyme, it has ensured I kept my protein and fibre intake in check and never let my weight go over a certain integer. I allow myself to cheat on fats and carbs because I am genetically blessed, may not be true for everyone. However, the limited point is, it doesn’t take too much to take control of what you eat; less than 2 mins per day to track

Languages fascinated me, like a true engineer. They just weren’t coding languages! Zindagi na milegi dobara sowed the Eurotrip seeds in most Indian millennials. Well, a few many years into our 20s, we managed to go on one. Hence, basic hi-hellos, left-rights, yes-no, good day, bye-bye, sir-ma’am was what we wanted to learn before we hit Madrid. Secret girlie plan was to get dos chicas to start talking to guapo hombres ;)

4 years of Duolingo for less than 5 minutes daily has ensured that I can read and understand Spanish language to an extent. Native speakers are too fast for me to comprehend but I am happy that I can appreciate a language that a good amount of humanity speaks. I can occasionally shake a leg on Despacito while I sing along!

In Dec 2019, I switched jobs and my manager gifted me a fitbit. I parked it for a month but as a part of ‘being active’ resolution I started using it from Jan 1, 2020. It has been 12 months and I have gotten used to meeting my exercise goals. I occasionally become the amusing person who gets up and starts walking in the middle of a seated drinks session with family and friends; to ensure I clock my 250 steps for an active hour :D

The black swan year of 2020 gave us many avenues to revisit our priorities in life. Boundaries between work and life, weekdays and weekends collapsed for people who had jobs. Many lost jobs and most never received an interview call to their endless applications

With the negativity and stress levels so high, it was difficult to breathe easy. Weekends were spent in heavy lifting household chores. After a point in time, I hated weekends because I couldn’t sweep any longer! That’s when I took the paint brush and started painting. In the last 8 months, I have created 3 canvases and the bliss of creating something is always incredible. A genuinely mature and encouraging husband has been the biggest icing on my cake and we have done some of these many things together

This year has taught us a very important lesson to take care of ourselves. Care is not limited to avoiding a virus. Peace of mind and a state of positivity can alone lead to better physical health and holistic oneness. I strongly believe that investing in oneself is more important than people perceive it to be. A happy person will be able to make efforts towards making his loved ones happier. Pursuing my hobbies, interests, personal fitness goals, learning from coursera certainly helped me get more control of myself and kept me positively occupied when the pandemic (or Teams calls) was getting too much

It is genuinely not that difficult to do new things in a middle of a busy routine; it just needs a bit of dedication and discipline. I urge you all to make commitments to yourself and follow them through. A few years later when you look back at how you have grown, it will inspire you to only become better! They say only bite as much as you can chew; but most of us hesitate to take a bite in the first place. The few who take the bite, forget to chew

Let’s make every day count people! To a happier 2021!!

P.S. I resolved to start writing a diary back in 2010 and I still do it, don’t think I have missed even a single day

P.P.S. I resolved to not let my blog which was started in 2008 to be dead, so I at least write 1 entry per year

P.P.P.S. Collectively my diary, duolingo and healthifyme takes 10 minutes in a day; don’t tell me you don’t have 10 mins for yourself!!

Fair play

Another year was drawing to a close and my mandatory annual blog entry was still pending. This had been the most eventful year in my life which included my getting married and getting gifted the first pair of Aldo shoes! Despite such life changing events, my blog still awaited a refresh

I had to google creative writing ideas to start penning my thoughts down. A scan of the preceding pages of my blog showed the rigour with which I wrote, I expressed about things I felt or about things that mattered to me. Did I stop feeling? Or worse, did I stop thinking or is this what happens when you cross your thirties?? Did I just suddenly inherit reticence out of nowhere? Or am I scared to say things out loud?!

Over the last few years of my working life, I have come to form an opinion about sustenance of women in corporate. I work with an equal opportunity employer. What I have concluded off-late is that opportunity is not a concern, the working environment is. It was further fueled after reading Lean In. Over the years I have interacted with a lot of internal and external stakeholders. When I was introduced as a project lead, team lead, point person etc, an immediate response would be – ‘Which batch of MBA are you?’ Over time, it became easy to realize that what follows this question is a judgement on lack of experience and a question mark on capability. It is not easy to accept a young manager, more so if it is a female manager. There is a fair amount of scanning and guesstimation of age – more so if you are single. Senior women leaders and mentors at times agreed that it helps to ‘look’ older. A woman who is capable but cannot drink with her male counterparts or partners at work, also at times takes longer to rise up the corporate ladder. This somewhere makes the entire premise of equal opportunity fallible. Most women I know had no choice but to move companies post their maternity leave because the growth options upon their return were limited or not thought through at all. What is a bigger concern is that most women accept a base rating during the appraisal year if they have taken a maternity leave. It is further expected that women make 2-3 career compromises. First one, at the time of marriage. Almost always, the would-be bride relocates because a fellow woman (mother-in-law) feels that the son’s career is more important. Second or third compromise comes at the time of maternity depending on the number of kids she decides to have. A prospective company feels it is their right to ask a woman candidate her marriage thoughts or family plans because corporations weigh business continuity far higher than sensitivity. Be it 8 am or 8pm, calls, reviews and meetings, working Sundays just go on to show disrespect towards personal life and more so for women who also have to probably instruct the maid, feed the baby, replenish the grocery of the house or pack tiffins

Women tend to bring a lot to the table; dedication, compassion and a silent determination which is also sometimes perceived as ‘not enough aggression’. How could I miss hurling abuses as a must-do in the upper echelons of the man’s world? A woman is judged for the way she dresses, she speaks, she abuses, her food as well as her drinking/ smoking habits. While everyone has to prove their worth, a women additionally also has to justify her standing shoulder to shoulder with a male colleague; more so at senior positions. I would also like to mention that some women also make principle level compromises and these are encouraged by her male colleagues. This makes the rest of the world believe that women have it easy. It is unfair but true, because few women chose to be ‘easy’

All said and done, women in corporate today are role models to young girls for whom good education and a great career is the sole way leading to a better life. The group I work for takes care of creating a conducive work environment but on a larger scale the efforts need to be a lot more conscious. What we need is not just equal opportunity employers, but sensitive employers as well as colleagues who would encourage and enable women to give their best!